matthew 16... who ever said it was going to be easy?

man, those disciples sure could be dense at time (kinda like me).  completely missing the point and thinking that Jesus was getting on them about bread.  like he couldn't just make some more.

then through the fog there is this beautiful moment when peter seems to get it (with the assistance of the Lord).  and we have Jesus telling us how the church is going to be setup.  i think christians need to be reminded of this every day.  we don't have gates of defense.  we are on the offensive - storming the gates of hades.

little side note.  in the greek peter's name petras which means stone or pebble.  what Jesus says is your name is petras and on this petra i will build my church.  petra is a large stone or bolder.  Jesus was not building his church on peter but on something that was a large unmovable bolder.  what in this passage would he be referring to?

also, our english does a bad job of translating it but the greek reads, "... and whatever you bind on earth will have been bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will have been loosed in heaven."

although, that's not what sticks out to me as i read chapter 16.  see, i just found out that two of my friends... friends that have been married longer than i've been alive... friends that have been christians longer than i have (but not as long as i've been alive)... friends that i love... friends that i look up to in the faith are calling it quits.  they're not calling it quits on Jesus... just each other.  and as i understand it, it's the wife that is calling it quits and leaving her husband.  she says that she has no scriptural justification for leaving.  she just wants to.  i am more shocked at this marriage ending than i was when my own dad left my mom.  these people have worked in multiple churches, been missionaries, went to bible college after retiring from their first job, and living lives that scream dedication and obedience.  and now this.

how do you stand before Jesus and say, "i will die for you.  i just can't stay married for you."?  how do you look at those who have been martyred... who have had their eyes gouged out with hot picks... who were skinned alive...  who were beaten within an inch of their lives over and over again... who were raped... who were set on fire... who were thrown to the lions... all for their obedience to Jesus... how do you say to them that you just couldn't be married for one more day?

i don't understand.

i also don't understand myself.  not that this lessens the divorce, (because i'm still very much shocked and ticked) but how often am i disobedient?  how can i stand before Jesus and say, "i'm fine picking up my cross except when it comes to _______________."?

v24-27 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross and follow Me.

"For whoever wishes to save his life will lost it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.

"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?  Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?

"For the Son of Man is going to come in the glory of His Father with His angles, and WILL THEN REPAY EVERY MAN ACCORDING TO HIS DEEDS."

matthew 15...the syrophoenician woman

wow, what a chapter.  i could spend time exploring traditions i have (and that christians have) that get in the way of following God.  that could be "fun".  or i could spend time looking at what Jesus is saying about the heart.  or maybe the feeding of the four thousand.  seriously, did you not already see this miracle done with even more people and you have to ask how it's done?  or even the significance of the 12 baskets left after the feeding of the 5 thousand and the 7 baskets left after the feeding of the 4 thousand.

but i'm not going to.  the story of the syrophoenician woman has always "intrigued" me.  i get that Jesus is jewish and the was working through the jews to bring salvation to all people.  so i get his focus on the jews.  but this isn't the first gentile to come to him asking for help.  what's with Jesus calling her a dog?  i've heard explanations like...

- it was like calling her a little puppy (nice and cute).

- it wasn't a bad term because she was a gentile and gentiles had pet dogs - and we all know how much we like our pets

- this was just Jesus being a jewish man and not respecting this syrophoenician woman.

all of those have sounded off to me for some reason or another.  for me, it seems more like a teaching moment for the disciples.  they are the ones that said to send her away.  and Jesus has always seemed to be there for anyone in need.  i think Jesus was saying what the disciples were thinking.  so in their minds they would know the outcome and be completely wrong.  and be thrown back on their heels.  they would be cheering about her being a dog.  but then be shocked with Jesus' response of her faith and the kindness he showed to her.  i think this is something the disciples needed to learn and think through.  after all, there were going to take leadership of this movement that was to be extended to the gentiles.  they would have to learn that we aren't dogs and that we too have faith, and that God loves us - even though we're gentiles.

matthew 14... girls ain't nothin' but trouble

herod shot off at the mouth, gave a stupid promise, and then had too much pride and peer pressure to say no.  and then john's dead.  and it's all the women's fault.  (obviously a joke.)

i have to wonder what it was like for Jesus.  in the midst of his ministry and his cousin is beheaded.  cousins that are close in age.  and not only all the emotions that would come with something like that... but i have to believe that this sent thoughts running through his head about his future.  what was that night like for Jesus?

that's makes vs 14 so amazing.  if i had of been Jesus i'm not sure i would have been thinking about anyone but myself.  but he steps off the boat, sees the crowd and has compassion on them.  wow.  absolutely amazing.  i think to me, right now, that is actually more amazing to me than the feeding of the 5000.  no matter what's going on, God has compassion for his creation.  for me.

Lord, continue to break my heart with the things that break your heart.  continue to work on me.  continue the work you started in me and give me your heart.  give me your compassion.  and help me to forget myself.

matthew 13... lucky number 13

i really wish the monk that separated matthew would have put less stuff per chapter.  this one is so full of so much stuff (as they all have been).

one question is answered though... why are all the "bad" people still around.  Jesus makes it clear that he doesn't want there to be any mistakes.  in the end it will be obvious... but now, it's not so obvious.  but for me it raises an interesting question of chronology.  a number of people who believe in the rapture say that christians are taken first.  then all the non-christians either get another chance or they just get to live in hell on earth for a little while.  the chronology of this parable seems to suggest that those against God are taken first, then those who have been obedient.  hmmmm.

out of all the parables in this chapter i cling to...

v44-46 The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in the field, which a man found and hid again; and from joy over it he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant seeking fine pearls, and upon finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.

i remember that day.  i remember the joy i had when i discovered that treasure.  i didn't fully realize how much i had to sell (give up) to get it, but i knew i wanted it.  it's been so worth it.  even though i feel like day to day i'm finding more that i need to sell.  i wish others to could see the treasure's beauty and sell all they have to get it.  there really is no pearl quite like it.

matthew 12... practice what you preach

as with all of matthew so far, there is so much in the chapter.  there is so much going on and so much that jumps out at me that i could ramble about.  but i guess out of all of them i'll look at Jesus' statement that,

v50 "... whoever does the will of My Father who is in heaven, he is My brother, and sister and mother."

it was just last chapter that he said you need to hate your family.  i feel like i can sometimes read those statements and separate Jesus from his family.  almost as though he didn't have one.  or he had one but they didn't matter to him because he was God.  but that does away with him being very much human.  and it does away with how important family was in that culture.  and it does away with the fact that Jesus told john to look out for his mom while he was on the cross.  Jesus did care about his family.  i wonder how hard it was to say something like that.  did he look them in the eye when he said it (sorta like peter and the rooster.)?  how bad did that sting mary?

he never said this life he's called us to is easy.  if anything, he guarantied it was going to be difficult.  and i can't think of anything more difficult than looking at your mom and saying she's not mom because she's not doing the will of God.

the other side of this is, this gives me a really cool and large family.  God, thanks for providing that.

matthew 11... so very real

thank you God for making your word so real.  i know i have had doubts in the past.  and some times those doubts seemed hard to share...  wondering what others would think.  here in chapter 11 we have john the plunger (now john the prisoner... who ushered in the way of Jesus) sending messengers  to make sure he didn't make a mistake.  and in the midst of his question Jesus says there is no one more blessed then john.  now i know he's not blessed because of his question, but it's nice to know that the question doesn't void the blessing.  thanks for listening and for allowing me to come to you with any question i have.  even when that question has been you in the past.

matthew 10... durn

saturday alison, her parents and myself took charlotte and ivy to the zoo in asheboro.  we passed a church building that we had passed many times before.  but this time maybe alison and i were just in a mood.  one of those moods to see the absurd and comment on it.  this church was called pleasant cross christian church.  i know nothing about this church.  it might be full of great people.  but alison and i couldn't help but laugh at the name.

"so Jesus, how was the cross?"

"you know, it really wasn't that bad.  not only was it not that bad, it was actually quite pleasant."

i couldn't help but think of that as i was reading this chapter.  the cross is not pleasant.  and Jesus doesn't try to make it sound that way.  i do have to ask though, how in the world does anyone read this chapter and somehow turn following Christ into something that is easy and costs you nothing?  i wish people would stop lying (come follow Jesus... he'll straighten up your life) and start telling the truth (come follow Jesus... he'll mess you life up).  don't get me wrong, i wouldn't live any other way.  but it sure isn't a walk in the park.